escaping the memories {swanfrost}

[cricketleap.]

Cricketleap set out from the camp in high spirits that day. The air was warm, but not too hot. The sun was out but blocked out by dark clouds. Rain was on it's way, but even with the threat, the gray-and-white tom wasn't worried. It had been so long without rain, and the elders were worrying about a drought. They were about to be proved wrong with this new day. In the shadows outside of his camp, he looked around. He wasn't looking for any cat in particular, but memories flashed through his eyes. He saw misty gray eyes staring back at him in his mind, and a flash of golden-brown fur. The medicine cat shivered in the warmer breeze. His memories were full of pain, but he shared them alone. Of course, the other ShadowClan cats knew them, for they had found out about him and the she-cat. But he had his pain locked up by himself, with no other cat. They didn't understand him. All of the sudden, Cricketleap felt more alone than ever. Since he was a social outcast, plus with these memories, it made him boxed up and lonely. The tom was a loner in his own Clan. The thought made him said, and also made him think about the she-cat. Her beautiful golden pelt with brown stripes, her intelligent misty eyes, but most of all, her personality. She was like warm honey on a freezing leaf-bare morning. Or an ice cold drink on the hottest greenleaf day. It was frightening that Cricketleap was thinking about her again, when he was ordered not to. But he had loved that cat with his heart. Now she was gone.

Cricketleap slithered forward on swift paws, acting like a snake. He crouched low in the grass and stabbed his body forward, eyes glinting in the darkness. In a couple heartbeats, his paws were covered with fungus and dripping moss. He shook them off, and went in any direction. Today wasn't a day for collecting herbs, even though he needed them badly. He was always worrying about his Clan, and he thought for once that he could have a little fun. The direction he was headed in was toward the ThunderClan border. His paws carried him forward. He didn't even care where he was going, as long as it was away from ShadowClan's camp. There held too many horrible memories, and for the most part, he wanted to escape them. He hardly had any good memories in his life time. He didn't mean to have this feeling, but self pity washed over him until he was engulfed in the sickly wave. His happiness evaporated like a puddle under the hot sun. It was replaced with anguish and despair.

As the gray-and-white medicine cat approached the border, which was the stream, he lifted up his muzzle and sniffed the air. There were no ThunderClan scents, besides the border, which filled the air with reek. Wrinkling his nose, he waded into the stream. Today I will not trespass. I've been going into other Clan territory much too often for my tastes, and I don't want to get into any more trouble. I don't plan on dying any time soon, anyway. After he crossed the creek, he shook his thick pelt dry. The water had only been up to his belly, and ShadowClan cat's were used to the moisture in their territory, so he didn't really mind. Giving himself one last shake for good measure, he padded along the scent line until he reached the clearing. Here, ShadowClan's territory fanned out, until they had a large clearing, just for themselves. A purr rumbled through his throat. Here, with no trees, the sun shone brightly, warming his damp fur. A droplet of water landed on his nose. Cricketleap looked up at the dust-gray sky. A couple more raindrops landed on his shoulders. Twitching his whiskers, he lowered his head, allowing his eyes to scan the clearing once more. There was no sight of a ThunderClan cat, but he couldn't be too careful. He sniffed the air once again. Nothing. For once, Cricketleap was alone. He felt his shoulders relaxing. He turned around once or twice in a circle, like a dog would before taking a nap. Yawning, he laid down and curled up in a tight ball next to a small gorse bush. He tucked his tail on his nose, but didn't go to sleep. Being so close to ThunderClan's territory made him nervous, even if there was no cat around. Even still, he wanted to rest his paws. So the medicine cat just lie there, with a few drops of water falling down every so often.

[Swanfrost]

The knowingly gorgeous ThunderClan she-cat glanced up at the sky as she emerged from wherever she had been before Rabid starting typing this post. There were some clouds up yonder, a bit gray and all, but nothing she was worried about. Rain wasn’t something that really made her worried, per say, but it was something that kind of got on her nerves since her fur was groomed so painstakingly and water whackin’ it would just sort of mess up her perfect aesthetic of perfection. Still, whatever. She had a plan for the day, and she didn’t want to let any stupid weather get in the way. With a slight shrug, she trotted out of the camp, giving an ambiguous and noncommittal excuse for her departure to the tom on guard with a quick and subtle wink. What she was going to do on this day was stare at herself for a while and then just lounge around and look amazing. This was pretty much her routine every day, so it wasn’t as if it was any radical change in Swanfrost’s life. The different thing each day, though, and what made it interesting was the location. On this fine, lovely, dreary day, the pointed tabby was going to be crossing into the marshy ShadowClan territory. They had a clearing and a stream, she knew, and she wanted to stare at herself, then wait for any cute tomcats to pad along. Maybe they’d get all bristly. StarClan knew Swanfrost actually thought that was attractive in its own way.

As Swanfrost pranced along through the forests of her Clan, she noticed that it almost seemed to be nighttime because of the stinking clouds. Well, whatever! She was going to look at herself no matter what, and maybe play the damsel in distress card if it came to rain and another tom as shallow as she waddled on by. With a disgruntled lash of her tail, she picked up her pace so that she wouldn’t be caught in a total storm or something for the majority of the day. The nice thing about ThunderClan was that it had great shade from such villains as rain, although a clearing, by definition, was lacking trees and leaves and all that jazz to protect poor Swanfrost who would, out in the complete open, but victim to terrible assaults by the weather. But whatever, as long as she got a nice look at her reflection and a nice look at a nice lookin’ tomcat, her day was complete. Swanfrost really didn’t want to have to run or bound or leap or whatever because it was an unfortunate fact that laziness went paw-in-paw with her vanity. Not really extreme laziness, but if she didn’t have to do something, she really didn’t want to. Hissing once when she felt a tiny plop, she picked up her pace to a trot.

ShadowClan’s border came and went, although it wasn’t really far in at all that Swanfrost reached the clearing. However, before she entered, she halted and sniffed, her brilliantly pink nose twitching cutely. Oh, yes, she could smell a tom. It was a scent that never seemed to escape the beautifully arrogant tabby. Yes, yes, yes! Being attacked by dropping water was not all in vain, then, it seemed! If Swanfrost could even get one flirtatious glance in, then her day would be made, life would be perfect, and everything could move along as usual. And then maybe she could kill a mouse or something, just to please her oh-so-demanding Clanmates.

Before stepping out into the clearing, Swanfrost shook herself and gave herself a quick grooming session. There was no reason to appear disheveled when meeting a new tomcat. Unless he was ugly, and then it simply didn’t matter. However, a cat would have to look as if his face got eaten for Swanfrost to think him unappealing. With a twitch of her tail tip, she waltzed into the clearing, and her clear and vibrant blue eyes instantly locked on the bundle near a bush. Gray-and-white, she saw, but she couldn’t quite tell his eye color or if his face had been seriously mauled recently. “Oh… hello. I think I’m lost…. Wait, is this ShadowClan territory?” she began sweetly, innocence oozing from every hair on her body. It was just an instinct she had, go with sweet and everything. Normally ShadowClan cats didn’t seem to go for that, but Swanfrost just got this vibe that deliciously sweet would be a good gamble in this situation.

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[cricketleap.]

CRICKETLEAP
why does every moment
have to be so hard?

As Cricketleap lay there, he could tell that a storm was coming. But this would be no ordinary storm - a thunderstorm, in fact. His keen gray ears picked up a distant growl, which sounded much like a dog. But the medicine cat knew more than a common kit, and knew that this was wrong, and the growling noise was actually a storm approaching. Cricketleap liked storms. He liked the way lightning crackled through the sky, splitting it in half. The blackened, swollen sky that rested overhead was good, too. He liked the growling noices, and the howling wind that whipped everything around. Like a lot of the ShadowClan cats, he didn't mind getting wet. Those frog-brained ThunderClan cats hated the simplest puddle, and WindClan was just terrified of water itself. RiverClan was okay - probably the only Clan Cricketleap didn't have something to complain about. If he was cast out of ShadowClan, he would head straight toward RiverClan territory. Sure, he loved his Clan. He'd never to anything try to do anything to harm his Clanmates. It was a huge if, but if he was thrown out from his Clan, he would go to his water-loving neighbors. A raindrop landed on his forehead and trickled down his snout until it perched on his nose. He shook it off quickly with a sneeze. Whiskers twitching, his bright gaze looked around the clearing before he closed his eyes once more. Fearful of spies, he sniffed the air. Once again, he smelled nothing but ShadowClan and ThunderClan scent-markers. And water, of course, due to the nearby stream.

Suddenly, he smelled something. ThunderClan! Trespassing on ShadowClan land! Heartbeats later he saw a very pretty light cream tabby she-cat step out of the bushes. She had ocean-blue eyes that made Cricketleap freeze for a moment. Pricking his ears, he heard her speak. For such a pretty cat, she had horrid voice - or for Cricketleap she did. A toothy frown appeared on his face. He slowly stood up on his paws and padded over to the she-cat until they were almost nose-to-nose. "Hello, she-cat, but what are you doing in ShadowClan territory?" He didn't care that she had the most beautiful eyes among the Clan cats, or that her fur looked kittypet-soft. Any other ShadowClan cat would probably be drooling by now, but he was hardly fooled by her. Medicine cats weren't supposed to have kits, or a mate at that. So, even though he didn't find himself attracted toward this ThunderClan cat, he had to be careful. "This is ShadowClan land, if you hadn't noticed," he added, firmly standing his ground. Whoever this she-cat was, she was about to be surprised. With a lower growl, he swished his tail, awaiting a response.


OOC: This would be twice as long, but I accidentally exited out of it... =/ So I'm sorry for the shortness.

[Swanfrost]

Swanfrost slapped herself mentally. Well, she’d chosen wrong, hadn’t she? This tomcat didn’t like the icky-sweet kind of girl, she supposed. Whatever, though, ’cause she could do whatever sort of type he liked. She knew that she could, she was confident (nay, arrogant) that she was able to make any tomcat drool. With a twitch of her tail, she flattened her ears and lowered her head, her eyes fluttering ever so slightly at him. “I’m sorry, I suppose I didn’t realize I’d come so far. With the storm on the way, I was just distracted. I guess I wandered out here by accident.” With a tiny shrug, she made a move as if she had been about to leave when she paused and glanced back at the handsome gray-and-white ShadowClanner. “I’m sorry, though… it would be so rude of me to leave without even catching your name. I know that you probably shouldn’t and that ShadowClan has that reputation of being tough and everything… and I get it.” Swanfrost flashed Cricketleap, whose name she did not know (and so she was somewhat puzzled by the fact that he looked familiar to her), a gleaming, perfect smile that only one so very trained – albeit self-trained – in the arts of seduction could pull off.

“If you want to know my name, it’s Swanfrost. Well, I suppose you never really asked me what my name was, and I just blurted it out, so I’m sorry for that and all,” she mewed. Yes, she was rambling. The beautiful she-cat was trying to worm her way into his heart, this time by attempting to use the “shy-but-still-sweet” tactic, but with less sweet and more cutely shy. Cute. She was trying for cute, and pointless rambling and constant trail-offs were things she knew to work sometimes. He really was a handsome tom, with his noticeable green eyes and his general size. Something about him just exuded brilliance and charisma, at least to Swanfrost, but she could say that about almost every tom she met. There simply was nothing too low for her. No, no, anything was good enough, anything, unless a litter of kits popped out of her moons later, and then she wouldn’t be entirely happy with life. But still, the pale tabby knew what she wanted, and she wanted to get what she wanted. So many words, so much wordiness! Alas, indeed, however, as such, etcetera, the selfish she-cat might not achieve her goals in the end this day, for, although she did not realize it, she was speaking with a medicine cat who found her as repulsive as others found her attractive. In her scheming mind, she still had a chance with Cricketleap. She still would be able to get what she wanted from this large ShadowClan tom, she believed, although what would actually happen would probably end up being far from what she had suspected.

Swanfrost was not the perfect kitty for hire if anyone were to look for a skilled private eye, although her instincts were almost always impeccable. Perhaps she would remove the object blinding her, the idea that this gray-and-white cat could satisfy her, and see the truth of the situation. And before the storm came, especially if it were to be a dangerous one, since Swanfrost wouldn’t want to stick around if she wasn’t going to be able to get what she had wanted.

OOC: I’m sorry it’s such a fail and sooooo late! D8 School is a killer.

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[cricketleap.]

Being tough, like a ShadowClan cat was supposed to be, was hard. Cricketleap struggled to keep the grim snarl on his lips. He longed so much to just shrug off the disguise... the decoy in front of this pale tabby she-cat. A beginning of a slight smile or an awkward frown traced his maw in the few moments of silence. How would he stay like this? He wanted the she-cat to see the dark side of him so that she would be frightened and not trespass on ShadowClan territory again. But being harsh was not in his nature, nor could he stay angry and mean for long periods at a time. Overall, his stubbornness won again, so he decided to stick with his decision to be stern and hard-headed. Like always, Cricketleap was stubborn. When wasn't the gray-and-white medicine cat? He was known for that and his brilliant thoughtfulness. He could think his way out of any fight, trick, or lying game... at least, most of the time he could.

As she spoke, he found himself lolling in her ocean blue eyes. Although he wasn't the type for "love at first sight", he did have to admit that she was a beautiful cat. Her creamy beige stripes faded around her cheek fur, tail rung with raccoon stripes, and her legs were coated with swoops of tan. Whoever looked at her could tell that she actually spent time on her coat. They would look at her a drool. Maybe that was what she was aiming for? But what kind of cat would just try to twist a tom in her paw for pleasure? No cat would. Why would this pretty white tabby she-cat be any different? She was a normal ThunderClan warrior at heart. A... normal ThunderClan warrior. She isn't in ShadowClan. She isn't in my Clan. How can I even be thinking that she is pretty? I'm double breaking the warrior code if... that ever happens! And it certainly won't. Cricketleap allowed himself to relax a bit, keeping his angry posture but letting the snarl fade from his lips. Even still, she should be at least slightly intimidated by his huge size. At least he hoped she was. If not, there could be some problems. And he wasn't about to be beaten by a yellow-belly she-cat.

"Get off of my territory before I claw your pretty little face off!" Although he could imagine himself saying that to her, his words changed drastically as they came out, "Oh. Well, that's fine then. Mistakes do happen, after all." It surprised him even more that a purr rumbled in his throat, hearty and warm. His shoulder muscles grew tense. Was he actually making small talk with this ThunderClan warrior? Nonsense! "You don't... have to leave." Why in the name of StarClan am I saying this?! Make me stop! "My name is Cricketleap. I'm ShadowClan's medicine cat, in case you didn't know." With a hesitant pause, Cricketleap continued, "Nice name, Swanfrost." He didn't want to compliment her on it's beauty or on her's. Maybe she would take it the wrong way by telling her Clan and his. And their leaders. He didn't want to see his reputation and ranking go down in flames. With a cold shiver, the gray-and-white tom decided to stay quiet after those last words.

[Swanfrost]

With a twitch of her ears, the pale tabby flicked her tail tip in pretend anxiety. The massive gray-and-white tomcat seemed to be having some sort of internal battle, and it rung with the real world, or rather, not his personal world, when a trickle of thunder rumbled softly in the distance. It was still dry – for now – but Swanfrost was not expecting the beloved lack of precipitation to last. Still, she felt as if, even with a shortened time, she had this one in the bag. Or whatever phrase cats would use, as that is obviously something only crazy Twolegs would say. What’s a bag?

Swanfrost watched the tom, and when he spoke, she deftly masked her surprise. The medicine cat? Well… perhaps the situation was not quite as bagged as the beautiful she-cat had previously believed. Well, now, it had been quite a while since Swanfrost had seduced any medicine cat. If she could recall properly, then Cricketleap was one of the ones who was devout when it came to StarClan… right? Of course, it was always better to err on the side of caution rather than to piss off a fanatic. Generally, in the ThunderClan warrior’s experiences, anti-StarClan cats were not as vocal or perhaps as passionate as the other group, so it wouldn’t hurt much to pretend that she strongly believed as well. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Cricketleap,” she mewed bashfully. After a beat, she jerked her head slightly, as though she were startled. “Oh! I’m so sorry, you were probably out here meditating or talking to StarClan or collecting herbs or something. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be talking to you so much, I should probably have left a while ago anyway, I should be getting back, I’m sorry. I like your name, too, by the way. I think it suits you, in a way.” She titled her head, smiled slightly in as cute a fashion as she could, and then continued, “Sorry, though, I’m distracting you from your medicine-cat type things. But, you know, I’ve always been kind of curious about what medicine cats do with StarClan and everything. Oh! Not in that kind of way, I’m sorry. I’m babbling now, aren’t I?” Indeed she was babbling. Swanfrost truly hated cats that rambled on like an insane fool, but she knew that some cats thought it was adorable for a bumbling she-cat to be muttering whatevers.

It was obvious to Swanfrost that Cricketleap was trying to appear intimidating, that he was trying to seem tough and frightening as ShadowClan cats were supposed to. However, she wasn’t truly terrified of him. She pretended to be slightly intimidated, which she showed through faint, but noticeable, changes in her posture and body language to express submission in the face of an unknown. Twitching her ears, though, Swanfrost’s head popped up. All that Cricketleap had said had finally sunken in. “I don’t… have to leave? Oh, thank you! Going through ThunderClan territory during a storm is scary, you know. Trees could fall or… or lightning. It’s all so frightening. Thank you. But what do medicine cats do in regard to StarClan? I’ve always been curious, especially since I… since I lost my brothers…” Swanfrost hadn’t needed to state that, but since it didn’t affect her emotionally, she didn’t mind letting it slip out in a half-sob, half-hiccup sort of sound that expressed sorrow, but also an attempt to conceal it. Her eyelids fluttered down slightly over her luminous blue eyes, which lowered ever so faintly.

OOC: Sorry this is late and sucks so much D: I wasn't feeling the flirty vibe when I was typing this up. >_>

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[cricketleap.]

Cricketleap's belly danced with butterflies that were much alive. Not only was he nervous, but frightened of this pretty peach-and-white tabby she-cat... er, Swanfrost. The medicine cat twitched his ears, a slight frown appearing then disappearing on his maw. He was scared that he would fall for her tricks, like a lot of cats would. Especially the burly, brawny warriors like Cricketleap could be if his past was altered just a bit. But who couldn't fall for Swanfrost? She was beautiful, and her sweet ocean blue eyes were so mesmerizing... Did she have mate? Cricketleap knew that he shouldn't even be thinking about Swanfrost. His body wiggled a bit from fear and happiness that he was meeting such a wonderful cat. Can't you see that she's just fooling you? Once she's done with you, she'll turn around to the next tom and do the exact same thing! his mind screamed angrily. But he didn't want to listen to what was actually true. Standing in front of Swanfrost somehow felt good and right. "No. I just came here to get away from my Clan for a bit. That's all. We've been so busy..." He didn't want to tell her what had happened - him running into a RiverClan patrol, Thornstar becoming sicker than ever, Hawkstrike the new deputy, and more. Not yet, anyway. Maybe later, when he got to know her better? If, that is. "I just wanted an escape from the same old life. And it seems... like I found it," Cricketleap murmured, which he himself could hardly hear. Could she have heard it? But then she started to babble like a little kit. Truthfully, Cricketleap thought it was kinda cute. Stop it, stop it! Twitching his tail, Cricketleap decided to loose his aggression and sit down.

"It's a secret, but I can tell you a few things," Cricketleap whispered after she decided to stay on ShadowClan land. "Let's start with the basics. We go to the Moonpool and share tongues with StarClan every half-moon. You probably already know that. Sometimes we have very urgent dreams if it's before the time to go to the Moonpool, such as danger is coming or lives are being threatened in the other Clans. I've talked to my former mentor, Foxtrot, many times since his death, so I'm pretty sure that apprentices can talk to their mentors even after they join StarClan." Cricketleap paused to take a breath. "I'm not going to tell you what StarClan has told me, because that's a secret only leaders and medicine cats are supposed to know. But those are the basic things that us medicine cats do around our ancestors," he meowed quietly, as if telling a huge secret that no other cat was supposed to know. With a purr, Cricketleap looked up at the sky. It was cloudy, dark, and looked like it would storm at any time. Suddenly, he longed to go in ThunderClan territory and hide in the shadows of a tree with Swanfrost. It would be frowned upon by his Clan, however. He was a medicine cat, and thus wasn't supposed to trespass into another Clan territory without a good reason. But since I'm a medicine cat, I can cross a boundary line without facing consequences. I'm not a warrior, after all. It was very tempting. So tempting that he almost asked Swanfrost if she wanted to go with him. But the words were replaced with new ones as he opened up his mouth. "Say, Swanfrost? ...Do you have a mate?"

[Swanfrost]

The beautiful she-cat let her eyes flutter up innocently toward the large tomcat while he spoke to her as though he were revealing a big secret. They widened, and her lips slid back into the fascinated grin of an eager kit or apprentice. Oh, Cricketleap was falling, big time, and he was not going to hit a soft landing. Inside, Swanfrost had a hugely manipulative sneer plastered all over her mind, but she was the paragon of sweetness on the outside, the epitome of perfection. Just the slightest change of brightness in his very green eyes sent Swanfrost’s sirens off, and her confidence – more aptly labeled “arrogance” – soared while she felt herself slipping into a comfortable autopilot mode. This was her rut, and she rather enjoyed it. If a rut could take minor modifications, of course, to suit the prey.

With a slight nod, the pale tabby meowed softly, “Oh, yes, I know what you mean. I just get lost out here sometimes while I’m thinking –” Ha, Swanfrost thinking! “—and just trying to connect and everything with all those things that I can miss by being a warrior.” Whatever Cricketleap had said about escaping, Swanfrost didn’t catch it; she only saw his lips move slightly, but there was nothing audible for her that slid out, which only bothered her slightly, and then she forgot about it. His speaking about StarClan and medicine cat duties was interesting, although Swanfrost knew the basics of it already, since she was used to hearing about it from the elders and her parents (whom she visited often because of their prodding her to continue with her perfection, and a perfect apprentice always took care of the elders voluntarily). The medicine cat subject actually bored Swanfrost quite quickly, as many things did, but she was a very apt liar and deftly assumed an air of fascination.

Instead of being forced to do more bumbling prodding from sweet-air-head Swanfrost, the white tabby was saved by the large tomcat when he asked her his question so adorably shyly. To anyone else it would have been cute, of course, but to Swanfrost, it was a bellow in her ear that she was ever closer to her goal. Toms generally didn’t ask that question just out of simple curiosity; in all of her experiences, there had been ulterior motives. With a shy flattening of her ears and a cute dip of her head, Swanfrost smiled sweetly. “No… I’ve never found the right tom,” she replied somewhat softly, her huge blue eyes carrying all the innocence in the world. “Do you have a mate, Cricketleap?” Swanfrost asked with a massively false attempt to seem uninterested – as cute, bubbly Swanfrost, not as real Swanfrost. So it was a sweet, shy sort of question. Then Swanfrost herself realized that the large tom was a medicine cat and, obviously, would not have a mate. That was okay, though, that was totally in character for this silly warrior. Flattening her ears and feeling her face heat up – this girl is a true Meryl Streep – she averted her hypnotic gaze and chuckled slightly. “Oh, I’m sorry, I guess you wouldn’t have one, would you, I’m sorry for that, really, I didn’t want to bring up any hurts or anything like that, I’m sorry,” she mumbled, just sort of trailing off if he didn’t cut her off (but she wouldn’t have minded if he did cut her off midway because babbling was not her favorite pastime).

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[cricketleap.]

It wasn't normal for the gray-and-white medicine cat to fall in love. He'd seen many beautiful cats - most from different Clans, since he wasn't attracted to his Clanmates as much as he should be. Peachblossom, another ShadowClan warrior, was very pretty. He even had to admit that a couple cats in WindClan were cute, and loved being around them. But no cat was as attractive as Swanfrost, the peach-and-white tabby she-cat with innocent blue eyes. Swanfrost was adorable. Cricketleap had a thing for sweet, soft she-cats, since he was one himself... only he was a tom, of course. And she was exactly like the cat he had only dreamed of. But he couldn't have a mate, he wasn't supposed to. He'd probably get in trouble if it were ever to become public to all Clans. I don't even know Swanfrost, and yet I'm already in love with her. Plus, I hate when cats are going crazy over each other when they only just met, claiming they believed in love at first sight. Well, I firmly don't believe in that. It's stupid... But somehow, this feels real. I wonder if Swanfrost feels the same way that I do. I hope she does, even though we could both get in huge trouble from our Clans. He paused, green eyes looking over at her. Oh, Swanfrost! The tom just wanted to hear three words from her maw, but they wouldn't come. He was an impatient creature, one that couldn't wait for things to be done. His ears pinned back on his skull when he murmured, "Yeah. All the trees look the same when I'm thinking." Cricketleap was also a thoughtful cat, which resulted in getting lost in the pine forest often.

Then he just sat there in silence. It wasn't welcoming, even though he was used to it and grown into it like his skin. With a quick glance at Swanfrost, he longed to just curl up beside her and share tongues. But cats from different Clans weren't supposed to unless they were at a Gathering. Cricketleap looked over his shoulder, making sure nobody was watching him. The black forest was deathly quiet. "It's okay, Swanfrost," he meowed brightly, turning his attention back to her. "You're right; I don't have a mate. I've been looking, but like you, I haven't found the right cat." He chuckled nervously, eyes dancing with worry, tail twitching. "And it's okay. Medicine cats aren't supposed to have mates anyway..." Cricketleap allowed his voice to be trailed off. I just want her to fall for me. I can't see any signs that she loves me back... Even though I'm trying my best to show it without shoving the words in her ears. Unsure, Cricketleap stood up on his huge paws and padded over to her. He was uncertain, and it was obviously showing in his mossy green eyes as he sat down right next to her. His gray-and-white fur was mixing with her beige pelt. A purr rumbled in his chest, more out of nervousness than anything else. He didn't want Swanfrost to be frightened and think that he was a creeper. Swanfrost! his mind screamed. He longed to give her a swift lick on her cheek, but something told him not to. Yet, anyway.

[Swanfrost]

[bg=d9e9ec][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=border,0,true] Oh, this simply was too easy. The medicine cat was falling for her so hard. It was as if just her appearance tossed him off the amorous cliff. Sure, Cricketleap was handsome, but that was no cause for romantic attraction on Swanfrost’s part. In her mind, there was nobody more attractive than she, no lover more passionate or lovely than she herself, and there was nobody better in any worthwhile way than she, the flawless Swanfrost. However, the fact that he was very easy on the eyes was certainly a plus. There was nothing worse than being so desperate as to have to pick a disfigured or plain ugly tom. It probably wasn’t even the degrading idea of being with, however briefly, an unappealing cat, but rather the chagrin of having to resort to that. This flirt (the nice thing to call her) was fortunate enough not to have to do that for a long time. There were a lot of attractive tomcats around the lake, even if rogues and loners were lacking. With a slight smile at Cricketleap, Swanfrost digested swiftly what he told her. Essentially, he was saying he was totally open to a mate. Of course, how long had they known each other? The duration of the so-far rather short conversation? That was enough time for Swanfrost, but what about for him? He didn’t strike her as the type to be willing to have a short fling, then be on his merry way the same way she was. So, perhaps if she let him think something could happen, then just never show up again? Maybe, maybe not. It depended on how the rest of, well, everything worked out. He seemed very sweet so far, and there was a certain flair, a splash of danger, that came with breaking the warrior code (especially doubly breaking it). At least the beautiful she-cat herself was not a medicine cat! Looking at the big gray-and-white cat after he spoke, Swanfrost meowed somewhat softly, “There has been a history of medicine cats with mates, the elders said, and they even said that StarClan smote none of them with lightning.” It was something of a half-joke, a silly little thing that made bubbly-Swanfrost’s lip curl up into a sweet mini-smile. Cricketleap then approached and sat down beside her, their fur brushing. She could feel the warmth of his body through their fur, and then she heard his purr. However, she could tell that he was holding back, so she would just have to give him a little push in the right direction. Although Swanfrost was a quick thinker on her feet, she didn’t want to think up something immediately, so it was very lucky for her that there was a crash of thunder close enough and a flash of lightning that had to have struck very close to the Clan territories. With a tiny squeak, the pale tabby jumped slightly and shoved her nuzzle into his shoulder and pressed herself closer to him. After a moment, Swanfrost pulled back faintly with a small start. Gazing up at him with her wide, pure blue eyes, her lips twitched in a shy, slightly embarrassed smile, and she murmured sweetly, “Sorry, I guess I’m just a little bit scared of thunder sometimes, I mean it took me by surprise, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to – I mean, I hope that you weren’t offended or insulted or something, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you or anything, it’s just – I, er… I’m sorry, I hope I didn’t upset you!”

[/color] She was blabbering and going on and on, but it was sort of half-hearted, and she made it very obvious that there was something she would rather be saying just through her soulful, innocent expression and her tone. Also, she tried to show him that she was waiting for him to cut her off rather than just let her trail off awkwardly, but she’d been dealing with the awkward, and so it wasn’t really that much of an issue for her.

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[cricketleap.]

They had only just met. Cricketleap couldn't shake that, so he wanted to move a little slower with her. Even though their fur was brushed up against each other, he kept the little thought to niggle in the back of his mind. He longed to just go out and blurt that he loved her - did she love him too? No... he wouldn't say it until he was sure. But we just met! We just met! Remember that! She's a ThunderClan cat... how could he love her? No, why did he love her? Wait... did StarClan want this to happen? Perhaps they had sent Swanfrost to him on purpose. StarClan was a confusing bunch of dead cats - how could he believe them sometimes? One minute they hated something, and the next they gladly accepted it. That was something that he didn't get. StarClan, you are the craziest sort of cats! But if you can do just one thing for me in my life... just one... could you please give me a sign that Swanfrost loves me? Oh, I know that we are from different Clans, and I know we only just met! Don't remind me. We all make mistakes, StarClan, but can't this be the one time that I do? You guys make them all of the time, so let me choose my own path... the path that I want. That would be right here, staying here in the clearing right now. I just want to stay here. I don't want this to end, not ever. His eyes glanced over at Swanfrost, but then he shyly pulled them away. The gray-and-white medicine cat saw no signs of her loving him. That was then his heart heaved a heavy sigh. It was almost like everything in the world was gone now. Emptiness swallowed his chest. “There has been a history of medicine cats with mates, the elders said, and they even said that StarClan smote none of them with lightning." He heard he speak those words. They were very encouraging, and they picked him back up once again. Was she implying that she loved him when she spoke of medicine cats having mates? He wasn't sure, so he wouldn't speak those sweet three words.

"Thank-you, Swanfrost," was all he said, but was itching for more. He loved the bubbly little she-cat, the way she tripped over her own words and all. The gray tom thought it was cute. With a heavy purr, he heard a flash of lightning. He didn't flinch at all, but Swanfrost did. With a small, quiet squeak, she jumped up with a frightened air. That was when she buried her muzzle into his shoulder. His stomach did a somersault, and his soft green eyes lit up. Ten his purr came out quicker and louder than before, and to him it sounded like the thunder. So maybe she does love me! I'm not quite certain yet though. Perhaps she did that only out of fear...? But when he looked at her being scared, he realized that he loved her. But it also brought worry to him. A few moments later, she pulled her muzzle away from him, her pure blue eyes reflecting and a sweet smile plastered on her lips as she stared up at him. My, my, my, was she beautiful! When she was "done" babbling on how she was sorry, Cricketleap cut in, "Oh, no, darling, it's perfectly fine." He barely realized that he'd called her darling, and slipped past it quickly, hoping that she didn't notice. "Hey, Swanfrost? I... I have something to tell you."

[Swanfrost]

[bg=d9e9ec][atrb=width,500,true][atrb=border,0,true] Too easy, too easy. If Swanfrost contained any compassion or capacity for sympathy at all, then this would be a horrible event, the manipulation of an earnest cat trying to do his best to follow the warrior code, even if his heart (if that was what they wanted to call it) was leading him in a different direction. It seemed as if Cricketleap was the innocent, sweet one here, though – since it certainly wasn’t the pale tabby – and Swanfrost was very aware of that, even if he wasn’t. Maybe she was going on a bit too strong, though, she thought for a moment, but then she got the vibe that he was pulling back because of fear of rejection or whatever it was that made cats pull away from relationships. The thunder, then, had come at a perfect time, since she could tell that he was coming around finally. He called her “darling” and he was staring at her with that goofy expression, that clown-face that toms got when she had hooked them around her paw. This sort of manipulation gave Swanfrost a rush perhaps more than the goal itself did. It was the warping of minds, the control she could exhibit over other cats that really gave Swanfrost sick pleasure and joy, and those were the only things she cared to have in life: the pleasure and joy. Perhaps joy was too strong a word, though, because she didn’t think she’d ever really felt such a thing, except maybe with that tom long ago, but she wasn’t worried about him anymore, and not even soon after they met. So whatever about possible scarring! She always hid those sorts of things very quickly. Bringing herself back to the plummeting tomcat before her, Swanfrost’s mind did somersaults when Cricketleap mumbled his last few words. Not her heart, but her mind. He seemed to want constant encouragement from her, so she decided she would go down the “aggressive” path, which entailed more sweetness, just a bit more forthright about it, more upfront and quicker. Too-the-point, but not so much that it looked like a complete reverse of ideas. Oh, gosh, and he was purring, too. Cricketleap was one of the easiest cats she had made fall in love with her; it probably had to do with the forbidden factor, and thank StarClan for this storm. Swanfrost looked up into Cricketleap’s wide, hopeful, certain green eyes and, after a moment when he finished speaking, she replied softly, sweetly, gently, “I have something, something… that I want to tell you, too, sweethear— Cricketleap.” Maybe cutting herself off hadn’t been a good idea, but she made it look as if she had truly meant to say it, that saying Cricketleap was just in case he didn’t return her feelings or if he didn’t… didn’t something. Swanfrost wasn’t bothering to think of hypotheticals for excuses. What was done was done. Flattening her ears slightly, but keeping her pure gaze on him, she added quickly, “But you started first, so, please… you go first.”

[/color] She actually began to purr slightly, a sound perfected through practice, meant to be charming yet somewhat alluring at the same time. There were varying sorts, of course, and Swanfrost knew them all inside and out. Already, she was planning ahead: what she would say, what sort of expression she would make when he said those packed three words, and so forth. She knew that she would at least return the words, which would be a blatant lie, and then they would go on with it and Swanfrost would try to remember to snatch a couple of potentially dangerous herbs or something on her way back to camp, but she didn’t always remember. Since her mishap moons ago, the pale tabby had really not been in any situation so dangerous that she knew of. Although a queen didn’t have to say who the father was, there were certainly be gossip and questions behind backs, toms asking toms and so on. It could ruin her image, and what was a cat if not her image? There was nothing substantial that she noticed behind the mist, the hazy fog screen blocking a cat’s face and persona from its true self and real intentions. There were no cats who told the truth; of that much Swanfrost was certain. Perhaps it was a cynical worldview, but it was something she could call her own.

But back to how she was acting in those short moments of fleeting thought, which was not shown on her face. Perfection Incarnated stared at its prey with wide, sweet, innocent, longing, apprehensive sapphire eyes, a pair of sparkling gems in a perfectly proportioned and colored face. Just say it, she thought impatiently, though very little time had really passed, while her body practically screamed the three words at him, if he could read it. There was nothing impatient about her expression or stature at all; either the cruelty was all in the actress’s mind or the innocence in the victim’s.

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[cricketleap.]

It seemed like Swanfrost had something to tell him, too? Perhaps she was feeling the same way. The pretty aqua-blue eyed she-cat stumbled shyly, even calling him sweetheart. But then she corrected herself, and he knew that she had meant it with all of her heart. She's such a caring, beautiful, kind, and sweet young cat! How come she doesn't have a mate yet? Perhaps all of the toms love her, but she's just searching for the right one... like she said. Well, I hope I'm the right one for her. I'm throwing my heart right at her, and I hope she catches it. Otherwise it'll fall. Cricketleap felt a bit worried, but it was covered up when he stared straight into her bright eyes. Swanfrost did love him, just like her loved her. There was no denying it. Little did the ShadowClan cat know that he was being tricked and lied to - that he would never forgive Swanfrost after he found out about the real her. With a nervous, quick shake of his head, Cricketleap stammered loudly, "Swanfrost... I don't say this to every she-cat I meet, so I don't want you to take this lightly." He paused, green eyes clouding over. "So I really want you to listen up. I'd greatly appreciate that. I normally don't go tossing my heart at every cat I see... I'm not that kind of guy. I have to get to know one first, but it seems like I know everything about you already. It happened so fast! I mean..." He gulped with fear. "That's not a bad thing, not at all! I just don't believe in 'love at first sight' and all of that mouse-brained silliness." Cricketleap pinned his ears back into his head uneasily. "Just hear me on this one, Swanfrost. I... I don't know... but... Swanfrost! I just... I mean... I wanted..." Why couldn't he speak to her? He shook himself painfully. "Swanfrost. I love you."

What would she say? Inside, Cricketleap was panicking and quite frantic, but on the outside, he refused to show Swanfrost his real emotions. He didn't want to know that those three words have been eating away at him since he first laid his eyes on her. Plus, maybe if she saw his fear, she would feel bad. He didn't want to put that on her, so he fought with himself to appear like nothing. Just like all ShadowClan cats. It would be hard for her to guess this, since he was a ShadowClan member. But he'd shown her all of those emotions - wouldn't she be able to tell the difference between the "two" different Cricketleap's? The medicine cat shook himself. He wouldn't worry about that unless the time came. Which it probably wouldn't... He didn't think she'd comment on it. Why am I so absent-minded and nervous now? His head was spinning and it seemed funny to him why everything was now blurry.