Another step closer [Hawkstar]

[violetwhisper]

Violetwhisper

I’m a pretty, pretty rebel,
I know you’ll never find another girl like me!

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Pelt black as the night that was fading from the trees above the hollow lay flat against the sides of the sleeping form laying in the moss and bracken nest. Her sides rose and fell in what appeared to be untroubled sleep. nothing distinguished this body from the shadows save this small movement. Every now and then a muscle would twitch a claw would extend, as though her dreams were of chasing mice and frogs to feed her clan. But he beihnd the dark shape that was her head a fierce battle raged. Let's take a look shall we?

Blood. Blood everywhere. Screams of pain and fear echo around her as the battle rages on. She stands before a very well known tom, his dark brown pelt almost as dark as hers, and his green eyes as vivid a contrast to his pelt as hers are to hers. But the eyes are not filled with the strength that many have come to see in them. They flash defiance, and trust. Something she isn't used to seeing. She raises her paw to slash his throat to take his life in a clean and almost untraceable way. This would bring her to lead Shadowclan and the plan of the Decoys would be almost complete. But the scene changes, and the tom is standing beside her, her tail intertwined with his and before them scamper kits some black some brown, but all with vivid violet or green eyes. She blinks not understanding the change. She shook her head and pulled away from Hawkstar, his eyes filling with concern. She turns and runs racing away, out of the camp, through the pine forest as far as her legs can carry her. This can't be it...I'm to kill him...Where is my life?! her mind cried out as she raced through the forest. She was forced to stop at dusk, her paws and lungs aching. Her breath coming in short shallow gasps. She curled on the ground too tired to build a nest and closed her eyes, fear and confusion searing through her.

Her eyes flashedopen and the predawn light filtering through the entrance startles her. She jumps from her nest and lands neatly on all fours before realizing where she was. Confusion floods back to her as she can't remember why she was so scared or surprised to find herself int he den in the first place. She pauses long enough to groom her pelt before slipping out of the den and yawning. She glances around the camp, checking that the dawn patrol was gathering, for while she had her plans, she needed to be a good deputy in the time being. As this thought crossed her mind her dream cam flooding back to her and she took a sharp breath, gasping as the second half of it hit her. The love and understanding in his eyes, that look that she longed to see from her own father, from any tom she'd ever interacted with had been etched on his face. She shook her head violently trying to rid the image from it. To cleanse it from this sin it had partaken of. Could this dream speak my heart? she pushed the thought away angrily and forced herself to think on her mission. She still needed to gain Hawkstars trust. Needed him to trust her completely. He'd trust me If I were his mate...and I'd trust him She growled softly to herself and forced the thought from her mind. "Someone like me doesn't get that." She said and glanced at the Freshkill pile. Just a mouse and a thin frog She thought and smiled. Hunting with Hawkstar, now that's a budding idea... She turned toward his den intending to wake him and invite him out.

Oh, I’ll eat you up alive,
Swallow all your pride!
I’m a black widow!

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(Lyrics Credit to "Black Widow" by Brittany Spears)\
Ooc: Sorry it's crappy and rambly.... O.o

[hawkstar]

Hawkstar's eyes shot open, his claws sinking into the hard packed soil in his den. It was dark, extremely so, which was strange, as the moon should have been near full tonight, light and bathing the camp silver. A strange coldness that couldn't be shaken from his body clung to his bones, and as he inhaled, the sickly scent of blood reached his nose. This should have caused instant panic, but he forced himself calm as he took a few wary steps from his den under the tall-pine. A thick, unnatural fog was crawling across the ground towards him, tendrils of it licking out to brush dampness across his muzzle. He shivered as he found that the pale, ghostly fog was the source of the blood-scent.

Suddenly, a heavy weight was on his back, driving him down with long claws biting into his flesh, teeth in his scruff, and there was no fighting it off. The silence that had been the foggy clearing was now filling, streaming with cats that all reeked of ShadowClan, but their eyes burned, they stood stiff, hate and murder in their gaze. One cat in particular stalked forth, and he knew he would die- but how could he fight? He couldn't, not as he recognized the black cat with the blazing violet eyes that stalked toward him with murder and joy in her eyes.

Once again, the ShadowClan leader's eyes snapped open, only this time, the air was pure and cold, and a watery, dappled sunlight drifted into his den. He exhaled sharply, forcing his tense body to relax. It was just a dream- but why had ShadowClan attacked him? Why was Violetwhisper there, ready to kill him. He forced himself to shake it off, rising to his paws and stretching, forcing away the remnants of his dream- and then her scent reached him. His green eyes searched from the gloom of his den until the cat with the bright violet eyes came into view. It was just a dream, Hawkstar, albeit a morbid one.

Before she could reach his den, he slid out, and padded towards her, meeting her about half way, his dream so easy to forget when he was close to this she-cat. Ever since the loss of Peachblossom, he had been cold, but caring for his clan kept him going. Now, was it possible he would let another cat into his heart?

"Good morning, Violetwhisper."

His voice was a friendly purr as he glanced around the camp, just in time to see the dawn patrol to slip out of camp. Nothing had changed. The horrors of his dream were simply that- a dream. ShadowClan was still together, functioning and working to survive the bitter leafbare, and his deputy was still loyal and- he shot her an affectionate glance of what one may see as friendship, something a leader should have with his deputy, but there was something else buried deep inside of the look, something he could hardly even grasp yet himself. He staggered from the thought, and focused on her path, heading towards his den.

"Did you need something?"

[violetwhisper]

Violetwhisper

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She's a rebel
She's a saint

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Her eyes raised as she heard pawsteps coming toward her. They fell on the handsome form of her leader, friend, and ultimate victim. she dipped her head to him as they met half way and he greeted her with a friendly purr. The sight of him, the sound of his voice brought the dreams rushing back to her. She flicked her tail forcing her face to remain calm and unhindered by the battle still raging in her heart. She looked up at him for he was slightly taller than her, as most toms were, and smiled gently. "Nothing urgent." She said turning to see a couple of warriors pad out of camp with their apprentices. She shook out her pelt as though shaking away the cold but in reality she was trying to shake away the dreams from the night, not least of which worried her the most as the dream of kits and a good life.

She turned back to Hawkstar and then her eyes drifted worriedly, toward the freshkill pile, an apprentice was taking the last pieces toward the nursery and elders den. She sighed and looked back at Hawkstar. "Just wondering if you'd care for a hunting excursion with me." She mewed flashing him a smile that spoke of excitement and desire. She thought back over her last few meetings with Hawkstar, every time it had become easier to fake the excitement and desire to spend time with him. She kept telling herself that it was because she was falling perfectly into her role, just as she'd been trained. But she knew, as little as she wanted to admit it that she was comfortable with him. More comfortable with him than she was able to be with any cat. This was the continual battle that raged in her very heart. She fought daily, nightly now, against her growing feeling of comfort and attraction to Hawkstar. She fought against too, her mission, her desire to please Crimsonstar and to gain power for herself. She felt as though she were lost, she didn't know who she was anymore or who she wanted to be.

She forced her mind away from her own thoughts and back to the present aware he may have spoken and she quite frankly she probably would have missed it. She looked toward the entrance and began to pad toward it her mind still half fogged with her dreams, and her emotions. "I just need to get out of camp." She paused and glanced over her shoulder her eyes honest for once, and a hint of pleading glimmering in them. She wasn't acting normally and she knew it. Perhaps a run in the forest would do her better good than even she realized. "Come with me." She mewed to him, her brilliant purple eyes flickering back and forth between his vivid green orbs.

She's salt of the earth
And she's dangerous

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(Lyrics Credit to "She's a Rebel" by Green Day)

[hawkstar]

Hawkstar could see the struggle in his deputy's eyes as she looked around, finally focusing on the fresh-kill pile- or lack thereof, and suggesting they hunt. He opened his jaws to speak, but she was already padding across the camp, making it to the entrance before she glanced over her shoulder, her eyes pleading as she asked him to come with- and would he truly refuse? Of course not.

He nodded his head, padding after her, and keeping close to her as she squeezed out into the forest. The dark pines cast deep shadows, although the sky was already overcast and dark, threatening to spill a new layer of snow. They picked up the pace to a job, then a run through the forest, the cold biting into Hawkstar's fur, but with it, giving him a new found energy. He allowed himself to glance at Violetwhisper at his side, his heart squeezing as he did so. Would it be wrong to love again? Just as quickly, he looked away again, allowing their pace to slow as he stopped at last, the RiverClan border looming up ahead. He turned to her, catching his breath momentarily before speaking, recalling that troubled look in her eyes back in camp.

"Violetwhisper, if something's bothering you, you know you can tell me, as your leader, and your friend."

He kept his tone gentle, brushing his tail down her spine in an affectionate gesture, sitting in the thin snow under the pine tree canopy, tilting his head slightly in question. Hunting was a priority, yes, but he knew he could handle catching a few frogs later- and he doubted his deputy would do so well with hunting if she was as lost and confused as she had seemed in the camp.

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[violetwhisper]

Violetwhisper

You say you want a revolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

She padded silently out of camp. As she felt Hawkstar surge forward and found herself falling instep with him without thought. She flew into a sprint, her paws falling beside his in perfect harmony. What was happening to her. She flicked her tail and felt it graze against his. She felt heat flush her ears and she turned her face away feeling his gaze on her. Her heart was filled with a feeling she'd never felt before. Something between love and regret. She tried to force the thought from her mind but it hung on harder than a warrior against a fox. She felt him slow his pace and looked up seeing the Riverclan border before her. Her heart sank. This was not a safe place for Hawkstar to be. She shook her head vigorously as Hawkstar pulled forward from her. She looked away from him and out over the Riverclan border. She hoped no decoy was across it, watching them. She knew what would be expected of her, for the time would be right now. He would be at her mercy. But he had to many lives left. She flicked her ears and glanced back as he spoke.

Her eyes dropped down to her paws and she shuffled them, feeling the snow beneath her paws. She felt it shift and change under her strong paws. She extended her claws and scored the snow feeling that her marks would soon be filled by the darkening sky above her. She looked up and felt his tail slide down her spine. She felt her heart flutter and she looked away from him. She couldn't feel that way. She scolded herself knowing that if any of the decoys found out she'd be attacked, seen as weak, They would try and take her position. She shook her head slowly and looked up at Hawkstar, she tried to hide the confusion and concern in her eyes. She slide half a whisker length closer to him, wishing with the deep hidden part of her heart that she could lean into him and disappear from all the world. From the decoys, from the trouble they were causing. But she still believed in them, what they stood for, but she couldn't imagine losing Hawkstar. She didn't understand.

She looked up at the leader whom she'd grown to care about and who caused all the feelings that she fought against. "I had a nightmare last night." She mewed softly, feeling that the truth at least part of it would be enough to sustain him from her own pain. Of course what caused her such pain was no the dream she would tell him about...but the second. Where they were together forever. She shook her dug her claws into the ground and looked up at the sky. "I just needed to know that you were still here." She mewed and turned to look back over the border. Her eyes caught the slightest movement, barely the flick of a tail or an ear, but she knew that someone was watching them, and she had her suspicions as to who, but she couldn't let them know, she had to set it up so that at least one of Hawkstar's lives would be taken. That would make it easier for her one day....one day soon. "I'm sorry." She whispered her eyes turning back to him.

You tell me that it's evolution
Well, you know
We all want to change the world

(Lyrics Credit to "Revolution" by the Beatles )

Ooc: I love them. =)

[hawkstar]

She spoke of having a nightmare, and he thought of his own nightmare filled sleep. He knew how it incited fears that simply waking up couldn't wash away, there was no turning around and ignoring it, and he could see that now in his deputy. She continued, however, her comment making his own heart flutter slightly. How wrong was it to love after loss? He knew for certain that unchecked, he would find himself deeply in love with his deputy, even with the feeling of betraying his old mate, he had to move along. I will move on, Peachblossom, and I am sorry. I will move on.

He sighed slightly and turned, locking the black she-cat in his gaze, emotions swirling there he thought long suppressed from his grief, but there was trust, there was compansionship there, and there was love, and then she spoke. It was barely audible to him, and he stalled on it momentarily. Was it an apology? Did she really say she was sorry? For what? His eyes held the question, even as he tried to brush it off, maybe he had misheard her, she could have said something else, in fact, he was almost certain she had. "Violetwhisper, I-" A confession of love on his lips not to be spoken.

Pawsteps pounded the snow at his side and he spun to face whoever it was, but instead of a intruding ShadowClan warrior, or a clumsy apprentice, he spied mottled fur, eyes blazing with hate, and sharp claws raked his face. He snarled in pain, his claws unsheathing to fight back, but this was not a cat here to chase him off, or scare him. This cat was here for the spilling of blood, and before the stunned leader could even react, there was a sharp cuff to the side of his head, such force behind the clawed pawstrike that a ringing formed in his ears and his vision blurred. The warrior in him snarled pure rage, he reared and lashed out to mangle his opponent, but blinded and disoriented, his face burning from the claw marks, his claws only sank into flesh to be torn free, the paws pummeled into his chest, knocking him onto his back and forcing the air from his lungs.

Here was the mighty ShadowClan leader, pinned under a cat he did not know, unable to even draw in breath, only able to shriek loudly for his deputy, begging for the she-cat's help. This was an ambush, the clan could be in danger! She needed to help him, so they could defend the clan, but where was she? There was hot breath at his ear, hissing joyfully, a voice he could not place.

"It is a pleasure to kill you, Hawkstar.

He felt teeth at his throat, the pressure, and then pain. His strangled cry was cut off suddenly, replaced by a gurgling, then silence. Blood filled his mouth, and his blurry vision began to fade. Was that black smudge nearby, unmoving, his deputy, or a shadow? Before he could dwell, everything was shadow, and the ringing faded into silence.

[violetwhisper]

Violetwhisper

I know I've been a real bad girl
I didn't mean for you to get hurt whatsoever

She knew it was happening before her senses, picked up on what was actually happening. She saw the body fall before her the blood pour from it, and her heart seemed to stop beating. It was like someone had clawed her heart out. She stared wide eyed for less than a heartbeat, that caused her more pain than she had realized was possible. She composed herself and turned to the cat whom had appeared from over the border. She looked him in the eyes, and nodded, hiding her emotions. Her heart ached for Hawkstar's lost life, and part of her wondered if he would ever come back to life. She wanted to believe that he would be every part of her screamed against it. "Well done." She mewed and stood. "Now give me a good scratch or two, and take off." She said her eyes flashing with faked excitement. She closed her eyes and felt the claws slash her shoulder and side. She felt the tom slide under her and slash at her stomach, deep but superficial wounds. She turned as the tom went to leave and raised her claws slashing at his hip drawing blood.

Go!" She growled at him. She wanted him gone as soon as possible because she could feel her control dissapearing. Her paws were shaking her heart pounding, her voice cracking. She watched the tom disappear over the border and as she did so she fell to the ground and rolled around the ground, she needed it to look like she'd fought for the death of her leader. She felt her paws shaking and worried she wouldn't be able to stand. She crawled instead feeling the tremors moving up her legs and into her shoulders, hips and down her spine. She couldn't control it she shook, as though she was stuck in a snow drift. She couldn't seem to make her mind understand that the loss wasn't permanent. Her heart ached and she couldn't feel anything but pain. Not pain from her willingly taken scratches, but deep in her heart, a place she didn't know could feel this way. She felt his fur, still warm under her paws and she pulled herself forward dropping her head down on his shoulder, taking in his scent, and his blood.

As she lay there, her eyes began to fill with hot tears. She hadn't let tears slip from her eyes in seasons. She hadn't let her self cry, she couldn't allow herself to be that vulnerable, but she felt as though she'd betrayed herself. Her head pounded with conflicting questions and emotions. I can't care this much for him. Why does it have to be this way? How could I cause so much pain to someone I love? Taking his life? It's my duty. NO! my duty is to serve and protect him. She wept into his fur, her body shaking with pain, and fear, and utter devastation. "I'm sorry Hawkstar. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't..." She spoke softly unable to control herself. She couldn't believe this was happening to her. That she was feeling this way. Suddenly anger surged up inside her. Anger at herself, at Crimsonstar, at Hawkstar, at Starclan. She lifted her head and yowled as loudly as her shaking body could allow, "WHY?" She collapsed onto Hawkstars shoulder unable to move again.

We can make it better
Tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet?

(Lyrics Credit to "Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani)

Ooc: OH MY GOODNESS!!! She wuvs him!!

[hawkstar]

Hawkstar's eyes shot open, but instead of the cold air, the dark pines, and a wracking pain, he felt strong, and very much so alive- and yet, what was happening? He stretched out his limbs and clambered up, glancing around and seeing the glittering water through a gap in the trees above, the towering oak that signified the island. The Island? What was he doing out here? One second he had been hunting with Violetwhisper, about to profess his love to the she-cat, and then... Blood. So much blood. He had been attacked, and had felt the sharp teeth close into his throat. He stiffened and looked around again, this time catching the unnaturally pure moonlight, the glitter and glint around him, the ghostly cats moving and speaking in the shadows, and then there was a cat in front of him, looking at him with sympathetic eyes. Thornstar, the old ShadowClan leader. His leader.

"Oh dear friend, what a day it is to see you here."

His body tensed again, his eyes growing wide as he peered at his leader. He was in StarClan, dead, or rather, loosing a life. However, would be returning to his pine forest, or was her staying now in StarClan, but a blip on the map of life in ShadowClan. Amusement then flicked in Thornstar's eyes, and he shook his head.

"Oh don't look so shocked. You'll go back momentarily, your body is recouperating, the blood spilling from your neck needs to stop lest you want to die again and again."

And yet here he was. In StarClan. He had come here once before, to get his nine lives, and now here he was again, only this time, he could make sense of all the cats around him.

"Are they all ShadowClan?"

He finally asked, looking at the cats he didn't recognize- and of course, those he did. His heart squeezed as he spotted Mudkit, his littermate who had died young, playing around the paws of his loving mother, Mothpool, and his father, Stoneclaw, none seemingly aware of his presence there. He wanted to call out to them, but thought better of it.

"Oh, no. All clans mingle here, Hawkstar. It is peace at last between the four. The decoys do not step foot here, and now you must return old friend, for they plague war in your true home."

He glanced around quickly, searching. He wanted to see one more cat before he left one more, but StarClan was fading quickly. Was that a flash of green eyes framed in calico fur he saw peering from the bushes? Was that grief there in them, or happiness? Approval or fear? He tried to move forward, but his paws were locked in place, and then horizontal on the ground. The sounds of StarClan faded and were replaced by that of the forest, the forest, and sobbing.

His eyes fluttered opened and he released a choking cough and he began to breath again. Each breath was now agony, and the coppery taste of blood was fresh in his throat, and soaking his neck and chest fur. His sides heaved for breath as the world spun into focus, his head aching and ringing, but he was alive.

"Violetwhisper..."

He breathed, feeling her weight leaning against him, her grief almost palpable. It was heart wrenching to see her so bereaved.

"Violetwhisper, we need... we need to go back to camp. More cats... they could could for us. You.. You need to be safe."

[violetwhisper]

Violetwhisper

If I could escape and recreate a place that?s my own world
And I could be your favorite girl forever, perfectly together

HEr eyes remained closed as she heard the breath return to him. His side began to move, and he coughed, a retched horrible sound. She heard his voice, and something in her ached even more. The concern for her in his tone. His desire to protect her broke her heart even more than her contribution to his death. She took a deep breath, drawing in his scent, though it was tainted with blood, and fear it comforted her some how. She pulled her hear away and turned it so she could look at Hawkstar, opening her eyes as she did so. The look on his face sent her into a spiral, it was as if someone had taken the ground out from under her paws. It was all she could do to stay standing, to stay in control of her actions. She loved him. She couldn't do him harm, but she was a decoy, not just any decoy, she was Crimsonstar's deputy. she was second in command, and it was her job to take of Shadowclan. To take them over and then to release the power to Crimsonstar. She shook the thought from her head, but this simple action seemed to cause her to stumble sideways. Her world was upside down and backwards. She didn't know who she was, what she believed, or what her mission was. All she knew for sure was that she loved Hawkstar, yet she had caused his death, would cause it again...would kill him with her own paw.

She closed her eyes tight, "No..." She whispered. She opened her eyes and felt the world right itself. She was staring into Hawkstars eyes. A whole new world opened to her in those eyes. A world not built on death, and murder. Not surrounded by secrecy, and fear of detection. Part of her longed for that world, Yet the other part of her, the stronger, albeit not by much, part told her it wasn't real, that she could never have a life like that. THat she was meant only to bring destruction, death, fear, and pain to others. She wasn't a lover, she was a killer. She fought against these thoughts the churning thoughts showing on her face she was sure. A mix of anger, hate, fear, pain, love, and desire flashed and churned through her eyes, but for once she was more concerned with her inner battle than with keeping up a facade on the outside.She realized, finally that Hawkstar had actually spoken, using words about keeping her safe. Oh if only he knew how safe I really was here. She thought but shook her head slowly. "He's gone Hawkstar, I've chased him off. What do you mean they? Riverclan?" She padded forward, and though she had spoken the words, she didn't believe them. She knew whom he meant. The decoys, they could come for them. If only you knew how close we are Hawkstar... She brushed her muzzle against his, her tears leaving her cheek and finding homes in his fur. "I'm not the one who needs protecting, you need to see Cricktleap." She mewed softly and licked his cheek.

She took another step forward and wrapped her head around his neck, placing her chin on his spine just between his shoulder blades. She needed to tell him. She had to get it off her chest before too many secrets buried her in her mind. She needed to confess to him. This is the perfect moment, He'll believe you, and you'll be closer to him than ever before... The little voice in her head made her want to cringe, to shout against it. Thiw was no longer an act, a facade, a pretend game she was playing. Everything had become far to real. Emotions she'd never felt were surging through her more powerfully than any she'd ever felt before. Her heart leaped with the very thought of him, her pelt crawled with anticipation moments before she actually touched him. Touching him was like setting a fire through her body. She caught herself dreaming of a future that could never be for the both of them. She dreamed of kits, of forever in his paws. She dreamed of seeing love for her in his eyes.

She choked back a sob knowing it could never be, and felt anger surge through her. who was this she-cat she was becoming. Crying at death, sobbing into the shoulder of one she could never have. Drinking in his scent like a lizard drinking water on a hot greenleaf day. She didn't recognize herself anymore, But do I like what i see? She questioned herself, but the answer was twisted up in both false and true emotions and a deep sense of two very different duties. On to protect the tom she loved, and one to kill him and take his place. She opened her mouth, and spoke words she'd never thought would cross her lips with such raw honesty and true emotion. "I love you Hawkstar..." She let the words fade into the air around them, wondering what the implications would be. She could almost hear Crimsonstar's voice "What a beautiful performance Violetwhisper...you almost had me believing it were true." It is true...she felt the response more than she would ever speak the words.

And tell me boy now wouldn't that be sweet?
The sweet escape

(Lyrics Credit to "Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani)

Ooc: Oh wow... I'm Pming you...=D

[hawkstar]

At her comment, he allowed his gaze to tear away from her, looking around almost feverishly. They? Them! His entire body shuddered, but he knew now that he should tell his deputy of them, they were a threat to her as well as him, and the thought of them killing her made his pelt crawl and his blood boil. They wouldn't touch her.

"The decoys."

Her muzzle against his calmed him however, and he relaxed. The decoys had made their point today, if they wanted him dead, they would have inflicted more life-threatening wounds of them, he would have lost nine lives, not just one. She spoke again, and he made something similar to a chuckle, although it half caught in his throat and made him seize up and cough painfully.

"Oh... that old tom... he doesn't want to see me."

Cricketleap had never been Hawkstar's biggest fan, but that was because he and the old medicine cat had both had a thing for the sweet warrior, Peachblossom. Oh, Peachblossom. His heart sank at the thought. Had he seen her in StarClan? Or had his eyes been playing tricks on him, and so was it disapproval she had for his new interest? He sighed heavily, a wet sound that reminded him of the wounds to his throat and the blood welling in his mouth with each breath. He supposed he'd have to suck it up and visit Cricketleap whether he liked it or not. Violetwhisper was still pressed against him, her body stiff, quiet as a mouse and he could only wonder what she was thinking about- until she spoke. All thoughts of Peachblossom's approval melted at her words- she was dead, and he was alive, he wanted to live, and do so with Violetwhisper. Closing his eyes, he pressed his muzzle into whatever scrap of fur of hers he could in his current position.

"I love you too."

He murmured, opening his eyes, his gaze catching out at the Riverclan border. Were those eyes there in the reeds, glinting out at them? Fur disappearing in a flash as someone took off? Preposterous. No cat should care of his lovelife, unless they just wanted to report to Crimsonstar that ShadowClan now had a weakened leader. His body tensed and he suppressed the urge to snarl. Those fox-hearts.

"We should go back to camp...I don't feel comfortable sitting out here by Riverclan."

Slowly, he heaved himself to his paws, dislodging Violetwhisper. His entire body ached and his throat burned with agony, a fresh bloody taste filling his mouth, but he could stand, and staying close to his deputy, began a slow trek back to ShadowClan.

[violetwhisper]

Violetwhisper

Her head tilted slightly to the side. She flicked her ears and knew that this moment was imperative. So he does know about us... Suddenly her heartbeat quickened, how much does he know? Perhaps he already knows about me. She shook the thought from her head and decided to play dumb. She wasn't ready to tell him yet, not to let him know of her utter betrayal, not so close to Crimsonstars border, not when he'd just lost a life to the decoys. She flicked her tail and let it lay on his hips, stroking his back trying to keep herself calm as much as him. She ignored his quip about Cricketleap. She didn't like the tom much and would avoid him at all costs. She opened her mouth to question him about who the decoys were when his next words stole her breath away. She felt as though all the air had been sucked out of her and her body had been filled with such joy, such great and unknowable joy. She looked up at him and a smile lit her face, one that was true, and honest, and terrified her to no end. I should be so vulnerable... I should not succumb to such emotions. She scolded herself but nothing could take away from hearing that he returned her affections.

A small voice inside her head reminded her that he was privy to the decoys, that he knew of their existence, and that it was possible that he knew of her secret, but she pushed it away. This wasn't hard do to her over elation at his revelation and she purred in pleasure and nudged her head up against his shoulder. She felt him lean against her and she realized that he was still in quite a bit of danger. He needed her full attention and care. And she knew she would give it, not only because it was her duty, and her mission, but because she wasn't ready to see him leave her forever. Will you ever be ready for that? The little voice asked sarcastically. She heard his next words as if they were calling to her from a great distance. "No," She mewed, "I don't much feel safe here either. Camp must be safe. These decoys, or whatever they are couldn't penetrate the loyalty of Shadowclan could they?" She asked trying to sound innocent as they began to move toward camp, his fur mingling with hers, and tickling her skin. She was more comfortable here, by his side, his scent surrounding her than she ever had been with the decoys or anyone else. With the decoys she had power...With Hawkstar...She had so much more.

Ooc: Ugh sorry this is awful!

[hawkstar]

As he hobbled along with Violetwhisper, he tried to wrap his mind around everything that had happened, but the strain it put on his exhausted body caused his head to reel and the ringing in his ears to cause further pain. Each step seemed to pull his body closer to the ground, although his eyes stayed bright and alert, even as his body began to slouch down, his belly fur almost brushing the snowy ground. Since when had camp been so far, or ShadowClan territory so big?

At his side, Violetwhisper spoke, so innocent and unaware of the danger in the forest, and yet... his eyes flicked toward her. Had he said anything if who, or what the decoys were? No, not then, but maybe he had mentioned them before. It could have happened, and so he brushed away any anxiety he could have had before. Focusing instead on his trek to camp, and her warmth at his side.

"I wish I could say not... but I don't... I don't know anymore."

It pained him to say it, but he needed to speak the truth to his deputy. He didn't know who the decoys were, where they were or what they were doing- and he knew that very well, anyone in his clan could be a decoy. His green eyes again flicked to Violetwhisper, feeling hot in his fur. Well, almost anyone. It was becoming harder and harder to keep moving, and his breathing was labored, but in the nick of time, the camp loomed before him. Shuddering with relief, he tried to retain a prideful and strong appearance, even as he sagged, squeezing into the camp. Momentarily, he was blinded by a patch of sunlight on the other side of the shadowy tunnel, but his eyes adjusted, and he made out his clan mates. Many turned at his entrance, and instantly stiffened, the blood coating his throat and muzzle would have thrown them for a loop, for they didn't know what happened. He could onlys hoot them reassuring looks as, not finding the strength to go sit through a session with Cricketleap, he steered himself and Violetwhisper to the base of the massive tree where the gnarled roots made his den.

"I'll see Cricketleap laster. Right now..." His breath as a hoarse pant as he slipped into the shadows of his den, to move and collapse in his nest at the back. "I just... I just want to rest."

[violetwhisper]

Violetwhisper

This time
Don't need another perfect line

She walked beside him silently, unable to talk. She didn't want to ruin his misconception of her. She wished she could be the cat he thought she was. The innocent, normal deputy that he loved. Not the decoy whose mission was to kill him. The thought of death brought an old familiar tingle to her spine. She liked the rush of murder, of getting away with it. It was in her past, her present, and her future. It was who she was. do I want to be that cat anymore? She asked herself, but she wasn't sure of the answer. She liked her power, she loved being important to so many, being feared by leaders, even if they didn't know it was she they feared. She liked having the power of life and death in her claws. Yet she loved Hawkstar, she would do all that was in her power to protect him. I have to tell him She thought, but even just the thought sent her heart pumping and adrenaline seeping into her system. She had to focus on every paw step to keep her paws from shaking.

"Do you want me to bring you anything before I..." She paused not sure what to say here. "Before I go check on patrols?" She finished lamely.

She sat down at the edge of his nest and willed him to ask her to stay. She didn't want to go. She didn't want to leave him. Ask me to stay, Ask me to stay. She thought. To her this was more than just a need to be near him, it would tell her everything of his suspicions, weather that was true or not, that's what she would interpret. If he asked her to stay, she'd know he didn't know she was...what she was. If he sent her away, she'd know he knew. That he didn't feel safe with her, and everything would be ruined. Everything lost, and she would be devastated.

Don't care if critics ever jump in line
I'm gonna give all my secrets away

(Lyrics Credit to "Secrets" by OneRepublic)

[hawkstar]

His eyes fluttered closed as he lay in the soft moss of his nest, catching his breath and allowing the throbbing pain in his throat to numb to a dull tingle again. He heaved a sigh of relief at the change, feeling now as if he could sleep for moons. Movement at his side however reminded him of his deputy's presence, and reveled in her closeness.

After a moment, she awkwardly asked if he needed anything before she went to go check on the patrols. Although there was no one to organize them, ShadowClan cats were smart, they'd be able to handle themselves and get patrols moving, and if they really couldn't help themselves, they Hawkstar could organize them from his den if they came to him, but he didn't think he would be physically moving anytime soon- not did he want to be alone. At his side, he felt Violetwhisper sit at the edge of his nest, waiting for his answer.

"Yes- just stay with me." '

He left it at that, flicking his tail and brushing it against whatever of her black fur it touched. He wanted her there for the company, for the love that he felt in her presence- love that he thought he would never feel again, but also, if she wanted to think of it as a useful duty and not of laying around all day with her leader, then she was also there to make sure he didn't die again- and he thought of it that way too, to an extent, so he could enjoy her presence without feeling like the clan was being thrown to the wolves.

[violetwhisper]

Violetwhisper

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

[/size][/left]

Her heart soared as the words slipped from his exhausted frame. She didn't care what the clan was doing, she didn't care what Crimsonstar would think. She wanted nothing more than to lay down with this tom and sink into his nest, his scent with him. She felt his tail sweep across her flank as she stood. She moved around him, curling her body around his, in a protective manner. Her tail fell across his and her paws tucked up under her chest. She took a deep breath breathing in his scent, and sighed comfortably. She pushed away the thoughts of confusion, and worry, and fear that had plagued her brain and heart all day. All she wanted now was to fall asleep with Hawkstar;s warmth beside her. She kept her head up and turned toward his watching his eyes flutter closed.

She moved with elegance, grace, and a gentleness she didn't even know she possessed. Her tongue moved in slow rhythmic swipes from his head to his neck. She worked gently to get the blood which was already dried from his wound out of his fur. She tasted his scent and all she fell even deeper for him. "As long as you like." She mewed gently to him though it was possible he was already asleep. "Sleep now my love." She continuted grooming him until the blood had disappeared from the fur she could reach. She gave half a thought to her own scratches, but guilt forced her to leave them alone. I hope they get infected...I'll deserve it... every bit of pain... She thought and her tongue paused for only a heartbeat before continuing on his ears.

Soon after she felt her own eyes growing heavy and she let hear head drop across his shoulder and let them close. She fell asleep breathing in his strong healthy scent. Her dreams lead her back to where he day had begun, dreams of love, kits, and a normal life.

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

[/size][/right]

(Lyrics Credit to "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol)

Ooc: DAW!!!!!!! lol so cute!!! =D