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Post by Russetclaw on Dec 15, 2011 0:14:10 GMT -5
Russetclaw [/font][/center] I keep my secrets safe
I keep them hidden away from you Feeling that she had finally given up her quest for his secrets, he released a sigh, his breath hanign in the air like mist, a cloud of lies. He hated lying, he hated being secretive, and not honest, but this was something that he couldn't change. He couldn't let anyone see this side of him. He nodded as she turned and moved off to hunt. He paused and took a deep breath trying to calm his frayed nerves. She had come the closest out of anyone ever, except for Willowwind of course. She'd known his dark secret. She'd known and shown him how to hid it. Knowing that it was part of him but giving him to tools to keep it under control. Suddenly a thought occurred to him and he tilted his head watching Ebonyleaf crouch down apparently aware that a rabbit was just on the other side of the rise. He dind't know what her 'instincts' were. He had her answer of course, her thinking like a kit, but did he really buy that. He didn't know what drove her to be the warrior she was. He needed to know what her goals were. He needed to trust her. He flicked his ears against his skull and his eyes clouded in thought as he watched her closely.
He quickly made his decision and padded up the hill behind her. His paws hitting the ground almost silently as he didn't want to scare away her prey before she had a chance to catch it. The tall moorland grass brushed agains his shoulders and flanks as he waded through it up the hill. He ducked his head and dropped beneath the height of the grass, almost hiding his bright ginger fur from view. He dropped to a crouch beside her, but instead of rushing off to hunt, or drive the rabbit toward her as he'd done before he turned his gaze on her. He was suddenly more interested in her own answer to her question than he was with hunting for his clan, which was unlike him. "What is your greatest goal?" He asked calmly his tail tip twitching slightly. in anticipation. He didn't know why but he felt as though there were secrets she was holding that were almost as bad as his. He needed someone to confide in. Someone he could trust. Could it be her? The thought crossed his mind that it should be Snowstar, but he blocked it out I don't want to trouble her with my petty thoughts He growled inwardly to himself. Like an anchor stuck to the bottom
I know my secret's safe (Lyrics Credit to "I Keep My Secrets Safe" by Saosin) |
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Post by ( ebonyleaf ) on Dec 15, 2011 1:43:19 GMT -5
E B O N Y L E A F , She should have known he was accepting her too easily. She should have been prepared for the chilling question that was soon to come. Yet she was not. The hunt had taken her under again and all her senses had been fully focused upon the rabbit, so close. It was her fur that really alerted her to his swift approach. She felt it lift and bristle, increasing her size dramatically. Ebonyleaf felt her ears flattern and her teeth bare as she spun around. 'Oh, it's just you. Give me a little warning before you try that again! I'm in the zone, here!' Her words had a teasing ring to them and she was just about to give a half - reassuring, half - playful smile when she caught sight of the determined look upon his face. It was in this moment that she doubted whether he had even listened to her.
He seemed to have an unknown purpose, one that made her feel instantly on guard. She had not heard him, nor had he made any attempt to focus in on the rabbit as she had been doing, just heartbeats ago. Perhaps he had intended to help her on the hunt, but curiousity had got the better of him. That was what she was taking away from the situation, anyway. His position certainly re - inforced that; half - crouched, but eyes fixed, not on the prey, but on her own face. She was suddenly startled by their rich, honest emerald color. How very different from her own. . They could never truly be friends, at least, not yet. Too many things were driving them apart and none of them were willing to even mention what these may be. She knew her half, but his? She could not even begin to guess.
His tone was calm, it was his twitching tail that gave it away. You're up to something! she thought, triumph mixing with wariness. 'I thought we were hunting.' It was a simple statment, tinged with amusment, however. So now he was asking the questions. How easily things could turn around. With a roll of her eyes - she was indeed frustrated with the way things were heading - she spoke again. 'Though I suppose you're not going to let it go. .' She stressed the 'you're' to remind him of her own forgiving ways and how she had dropped a matter, eventually, that he had obviously been very uncomfortable and hesitant to discuss. 'My goal is no different to yours, I'll have you know it. I desire to serve my clan.'
Her chin lifted up as his did, challenging him, this time, to question her 'loyalty'. He should, really, but there was no way she was going to let that on. Stay calm, don't elaborate any more, she told herself, her face so expressionless, yet her body was ready to tremble at the slightest suggestive statement. 'I don't see why you think any differently!' The words burst from her; she was nearly in her panicked state again. Not again! Not again! Her trembling thoughts did nothing to aid her to think clearly. 'I'm just like you! A warrior! Of WindClan!' Her shrill voice would have probably driven the rabbit away by now, though she hardly cared. 'Now, do you want to hunt? Or keep quizzing a loyal warrior, Russetclaw?' Her question was both challenging and fear - driven. How much longer can I keep this up? She thought, in true fear.
OTHER; Phew! She's really stressed, now. Her fear of being found out is making her mis - judge everything he tells her. xD |
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Post by Russetclaw on Dec 22, 2011 22:47:35 GMT -5
Russetclaw And I'm done hoping that we could work it out
I'm done with how it feels, spinning my wheels [/font][/left] His emerald green eyes watched her calmly as she spoke, clearly trying t get him to drop the subject, but he wouldn't, he couldn't. He needed to know if any others were like him. Any others who struggled with loyalty over ambition. He needed to know he wasn't alone. While she began calmly, his ears quickly detected the rise in her voice and his pelt bristled at the accusation she spat at him. Accusing him of lack of trust in his fellow warriors was a deeper blow than she had surely intentioned but it was a blow none the less. He leaned away from her, the disgust at his own naivety in thinking that he was a normal warrior flashed in his stomach churning it and threatening to force what little was in his belly to return to the outside world. He swallowed hard and turned away from her. He felt her anger hitting his pelt in waves, though he could be imagining it. There was another feeling striking him that he didn't quite understand. it was almost panic. He flicked his ears and lashed his tail quizzically.
He looked down to where the rabbit was sure to have fled from, and sure enough he watched it's tail disappear down a tunnel a good six or seven fox-lengths from where it had started. Ample amount of time for them to have caught it. Mouse brain...the clan needs fed...and you'r sitting around gossiping about nothing good. He scolded himself. digging his claws into the ground before realizing that he wasn't alone, and that Ebonyleaf was still beside him. This surprised him. Had it been he whom had been thought to be disloyal, he'd have stalked off without another word, but here she sat, still crouched near him, challenging his seeming accusation. He turned back to her and a sadness crept into his eyes. He'd so desperately wanted to believe that he wasn't alone. That he wasn't the only one who struggled with his ambition, but it seemed that he was mistaken. Well...I didn't exactly tell her the truth... He thought, blinking saddly at her before turning to look again at the moors below them. But what if I had...she may have turned me into Snowstar...There is no one whom I can confess my fears and struggles to. With this thought he flicked his ears and steeled his emotions.
Feeling his walls rebuilding and strengthening themselves arouns his heart he flicked lifted himself to his paws and turned to look at Ebonyleaf again. The sadness had gone from his face, forced away by the fear of being discovered, of showing who he truly was. Driven back, to be held captive behind his fortressed heart, by the lie he believed that no one struggled as he did. "I didn't mean to sound as though I didn't think you Loyal Ebonyleaf." He said calmly, his voice confident, but empathetic once more. "But we should spend the rest of our time hunting...not chatting about things that don't matter." He said and lifted his head searching the wind for any scent of prey. He desperately wanted there to be something, they needed to focus on something other than each other, on something that wasn't going to get them riled and tense with one another. Letting you drag my heart around
And, oh, I'm done thinking that you could ever change [/font][/right] (Lyrics Credit to "A Little Bit Stronger" by Sara Evans) |
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Post by ( ebonyleaf ) on Dec 22, 2011 23:54:04 GMT -5
E B O N Y L E A F , She could not deny it; he was making her feel a little afraid. His reaction to her words was far greater than she had expected, though his reaction was only physical, at least at first. She could feel the anger running off his pelt in waves and she shuddered. She knew she was out - matched when it came to a fight. Perhaps the only thing that would be able to save her if it came down to one was the fact that she was willing to strike him dead. She was sure he would be above such deeds, especially as, to his knowledge, she was a clanmate. She watched his gaze as it flicked to the rabbit, and for a brief moment, wondered with faint amusement, whether he was going to take his rage out on it, instead. It would be a sort of ironic 'deja vu' if he happened to. However, it seemed he was above even that, for he simply seemed to stare at it's progress. Oh, go and catch it, you silly furball, she snapped in her mind, wanting so badly to say them aloud.
At his first words, she seemed to slump; her pelt stopped prickling and her ears gradually loosened until they were at a reasonable angle once again. Although it seemed this reaction, this relief, had arisen because he deemed her loyal, it was not so much the case. She was simply glad he did not think her suspicious; untrustworthy. For him to think that could certainly mean she had a very large problem on her hands. 'Well, oh, I see.' She stumbled over the words, cursing herself internally as she did so. Way to sound professional, she scolded herself, with a momentary frown. She felt her previous anger return with his next comment about the prey; 'funny you should say that, given that you just watched prey go past your very nose,' she snapped, beyond pretence, now. Though her statement was not entirely true, for the rabbit had past a little way away. Undoubtedly, he could have still caught it, if he had truly been focused upon it.
'Anyway, no hard feelings,' she muttered, not particularly wanting to start another wave of anger between the two of them. 'Yes, let's hunt. Hopefully we can catch something, this time around.' She contented herself with one scornful remark. In truth, she was tiring of being in his presence. She just wanted to forget about the whole experience. It was certainly not one to treasure. She concentrated for the third and perhaps, final, time. Her nose caught little scent of any prey. 'I don't scent anything,' she spoke grumpily to him. 'I think we've just driven everything away. After all, we were pretty loud. .' She could not help but share a small smile with him, though she had no idea how he would recieve the gesture. 'Come on, further down, perhaps?' Without waiting for a proper answer, she began to pad at a slow, cautious pace. They were hunting, after all, and she needed to make the best of it. |
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Post by Russetclaw on Dec 27, 2011 14:46:13 GMT -5
Russetclaw Why can't you just let me
Do the things I wanna do
I just wanna be me His emerald eyes flashed as he watched her. HIs tail lashed once as she walked away from him and his mind whirled. A part of him wanted desperately to confess all of his short-comings to her, to confess his desire for power, but the rest of him knew better. Knew that should he speak these thoughts allowed he would be shunted and seen as an outcast within his own clan. And who is to say she wouldn't go back and tell the rest of the clan. They could cast him out, and he would be alone. Snowstar would no longer trust him, he coulnd't imagine living alone. He shook the thought from his head feeling his emotions rage inside him for a few more heartbeats, before he realized she was quite a distance away from him. He bounded after her catching up and falling in step silently. He opened his mouth to speak but realized he didn't have anything to say so he closed it again nodded at her as she suggested hunting a little further down. He lifted his nose and scented the air as they walked catching a whiff of rabbit on the light breeze before him. They were down wind but the rabbit was a ways off. He glanced at Ebonyleaf and tried to smile encouragingly. "Shall we tray again then?" Without waiting for an answer he bounded ahead of her flicking his tail with a signal to stay back and wait for him to chase the rabbit toward her again.
He slowed to a trot at the base of the hill, his paws falling siletnly on the hard cold earth. His eyes shifted over the land looking for the faintest trace of fur, or a flash of white tail. Finally his eyes landed on the scrawny pile of fur that was before him about three fox lengths. Instead of heading straight for it he turned and gave it a wide birth dropping to a crouch when he was level with it's hind quarters. The rabbit was mostly fur and bones and he flicked his ears angrily. The clan will starve with prey like this! He stifled a growl in his chest noticing the ears on the rabbit lift feebly in his direstion. He paused allowing the prey to calm down before continuing in his arc around it. Finally he crouched facing it his eyes narrowed in concentration. He let out a ferocious growl and leaped forward his paws landing a good tail length from the rabbit.
It stared at him it's eyes wide and frightened, but it seemed glued to the spot. the pair stood there looking at each other for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, since the rabbit was not moving. he leaped again bunching his powerful back legs and aiming at the shoulders of the prey. It's imminent death seemed to wake it from it's stupor. It turned and fled and his paws hit the groudn right where it had been a moment ago. At least it's headed in the right direction. He thought before bounding after it chasing it, herding it toward Ebonyleaf's hopefully waiting paws. I don't understand why
Would you wanna bring me down
I'm only having fun (Lyrics Credit to "Rumors" by Lindsay Lohan) |
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Post by ( ebonyleaf ) on Dec 27, 2011 16:26:35 GMT -5
E B O N Y L E A F , Ebonyleaf gave a customary flinch as light pawsteps fell into step with her own, before remembering that it was simply Russetclaw. Allowing her ears to perk again, she continued to pretend to be fully engaged in the hunt, while really the majority of her mind was focused on what he may be about to say to her. Would he reveal his secret? There was obviously one there, though all thoughts of what it could be were now gone from her mind. If he did, would she be able to keep her own? Most certainly hers was worse, though if he had happened to have killed a cat, they could be on rather even ground. . His voice startled her, though by the time she had fully looked around at him, he had already trotted off. Still standing still, she replied, 'okay--' before leaping off after him; she was not going to muck up this opportunity.
Hopefully, if they caught a rabbit, they could head back to camp. Or at least, he would. That was all she really needed; to be alone, or surrounded by so many that she could simply slip into the background, like always. She continued after him, wondering how far he was going to go. Now, the fresh scent hit her hard, and she breathed it in, tail giving a little flick of relief and pleasure. The fun was about to begin. She slowed as he slowed, searching for any signs of rabbit, almost unaware that he was doing the same. He began to move, rather suddenly she felt, and she paused, a little confused. Her dark eyes continued to scan the horizon, in particular now, the path he was heading. There appeared to be nothing visible to her eyes, until-- Was that a small bundle of fur, with that give - away white tip? His plan suddenly became clear to her. He was not approaching the rabbit straight on as she had first thought, rather, giving it a wide birth. She noticed a momentary flare of anger and began to pad toward the prey, also, fearing his anger to be directed at her lack of participation thus far.
She watched him further, crouched down as far as she dared, should the rabbit suddenly spring toward her; she needed to be at a height where her paws could easily clamp it together. She watched his viscious approach, crouch and growling he was, she had never seen anything quite like it. The rabbit seemed to be moving toward her in slow motion, running toward her with wide eyes and pointed ears. Her own mouth moved into a snarl she never felt, as her paws clapped themselves together down on the rabbit's lower back. She felt it struggle, and as she bit at it's neck to relieve the movement, she had to fight to keep herself from tearing at the warm body.
Russetclaw would never forgive you. The blinding thought made her eyes open and her grasp relax. It was true, though, he probably would never desire to hunt with her again, and despite his rather unusual manner, she found she would vaguely miss his company, at rare times. 'Caught it,' she yowled, before restraining herself. This time, the limp body only contained the original claw marks which had been a necessity to catch it for her clan. She picked up the limp body, carrying it with a gleam in her dark eyes. When she had reached only a couple of fox - lengths away from the deputy, she dropped the bundle to ask him one thing; 'should we take this back to camp?' |
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Post by Russetclaw on Dec 31, 2011 0:47:57 GMT -5
Russetclaw I know I’m not strong enough to be
Everything that I’m supposed to be [/size][/left] He slowed to a trot as she leaped and killed the rabbit. He admired her graceful form, and the strength in her shoulders as she killed the prey. He slowed to a walk as she turned and padded toward him, stopping after she did, closing the distance to a couple of tail lengths. he pulled his haunches underneath him and smiled at her, trying to force the calm back into his voice. The hunt had cleared his head and reminded him where his loyalties lay, and why he was so keen to keep his secret. He took a deep breath and blinked at Ebonyleaf trying to look reassuring. "That was much better than the last one." He said with a smile and a the shadow of a wink. He felt the tension from their last conversation hanging on his shoulders like dead weight. He wanted nothing more than to shrug it off, but he didn't know how. He didn't want to end this hunt on a bad note, but this catch would be enough to feed the queens, and there was the off chance they would be able to catch another. Yet he didn't want to push his luck with Ebonyleaf. He'd already come close to losing his head, and confessing to her. He couldn't let that happen again. He didn't know if he could trust himself around her.
Soemthign about her drew him to confess, to show himself honestly before her, and that piece of his relationship to her scared him. He flicked his ears and glanced at his paws trying to sort out his emotions. Part of him felt attracted to the she-cat, but that part scared him and he forced it down. He didn't want to be close to someone whom he felt he needed to be so open with. He couldn't even confess to Snowstar his ambitions, his secrets. What made him feel as though this she-cat was so special. Like she could handle his ambition better than another. He flicked his tail around his paws and as it landed over them he realized that she had asked a question, but he didn't answer right away, nor did he look up. He didn't want to give away the feelings churning within his chest. He didn't want her to see it burning on his face.
He let the silence drag on for a moment or so longer. Composing his face and then looking up at her. "Yes. That will feed the queens at least." he said standing to his paws. Heglanced toward the other piece of prey, that lay buried down the moor a ways. "Do you think we ought to take that one back?"He asked referring to her first catch, which was mutilated, but could still feed the clan in these starving times. He stared down at it, but wasn't really seeing it. His thoughts were tumbling around elsewhere, distant and very scattered. Jumping from one thought to the next with out much to connect them. He shook his head and sighed, turning back to Ebonyleaf and waiting for her response. I give up,
I’m not strong enough [/size][/right] (Lyrics Credit to "Strong Enough" by Matthew West) |
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Post by ( ebonyleaf ) on Dec 31, 2011 20:30:44 GMT -5
E B O N Y L E A F , The rabbit hung down in her mouth, as she stared back at him, attempting a smile. 'I'll say,' she murmured in response, the rabbit falling out of her mouth as she did so. With a slight frown, she picked it up again, the weight of it becoming even heavier in her mouth. She was concerned for him; he still seemed to be struggling with something, deep inside him. She wanted to know what it was. Really badly. Yet, she knew that that would only lead to another argument, which would seem so out of place after they had experienced a successful hunt together. For some reason, his wink unsettled her. It just seemed so out of place from what they had been experiencing only moments before. However, she contented herself with a flick of her pelt, as if trying to shrug off something that could not be shrugged off. His gaze now drew down to his paws, and she could tell some negative emotion was increasing inside of him. The silence was feeling her with unease, now. Perhaps he had not heard her? Or was too focused by his own problems? She hesitated in speech, 'err. . uh. .' He spoke and she snapped her mouth shut, glad she had only stuttered quietly. 'Alrighty, then,' she dipped her head as she spoke, preparing to take off. Camp had never seemed so inviting.
'Are you sure there's not something you're wanting to tell me? I mean. . I don't want to bring this all up again, but something just showed--' She did not particularly want to draw attention to what had made her feel that something was still bothering him, but it had been his expression. She knew she was avoiding the question, though she felt it would only be fair for them to both suffer a little uncomfortableness. With a shake of her head - she doubted she would be getting any answers here - she took her own time to reply to his question. 'I suppose we should. Embarassing for me, but that hardly matters when the clan could benefit.' Her words took on a bitter tone that she could just not keep out. She was sure he would pick it up, but it was too late for regrets now. 'I'm sorry,' she apologized, meaninglessly. 'I just felt silly, with what happened earlier. Of course we should take it back.' Her eyes stared directly into his, as she spoke. She was not one to try to avoid another's gaze, no matter how bad she felt. 'But if you'd prefer, we could leave that here. I'm fine to manage another.' Her tone was now dismissive; she hoped he would take on board her second suggestion. It was much more favorable, in her opinion. |
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Post by Russetclaw on Jan 2, 2012 13:43:45 GMT -5
Russetclaw But even if I made a vow
I promise not to miss you now [/font][/color][/left] His ears pricked as she spoke but he didn't act as though he heard her. He wasn't sure how he wanted to proceed. He didn't know if he wanted her to know, or if he even trusted her enough. He kept reminding himself that he didn't really know her. He moved his paws without really knowing where they were taking him. He was following the path they had just taken, down the moors toward where the other rabbit lay covered. He turned and looked at Ebonyleaf and smiled lightly. "I'll carry it back." He said simply and bent down lifting the rabbit and turning, bounding up the hill as best he could back toward Ebonyleaf. The Rabbit dangled beneath his jaws, his paws spread to accommodate the extra weight and dangling body between his legs. He came to a halt and placed the rabbit on the ground, it's dirt covered body falling with a thump to the ground.
He took a deep breath and looked at her. His eyes flashing with fear and aprehension. I don't want to live a lie anymore. I want someone to know. He shook his head and looked at Ebonyleaf. Could she be the one. COuld she be the one he trusted? The one who didn't look at him differently because eh desired to lead. He flicked is tail and looked away. The burning desire to be honest with himself and with her forced his paws to knead the ground. HIs tail lashed once from side to side before it stilled and he looked back at his hunting partner. "I'm just not ready yet." He murmured and bent down his mouth parted to grab the rabbit from the ground but he paused again, still looking at the rabbit but closed his mouth. "I won't say this was your fault." He said and picked up the rabbit.
He glanced at her again his eyes longing and sad. He turned back and forced his paws to move toward the camp. He didn't want to be out here anymore. He didn't want to be alone with Ebonyleaf. He didn't want to be somewhere where he could betray his own heart. He forced himself to focus on Snowstar. She's the one I should confide in. She's the one I should trust. She's the one I serve. His eyes stared ahead while his paws moved confidently toward camp. He didn't want to be back there either. Something made him feel like he just needed a good run in the country side. Perhaps a border skirmish. No he would never pick a fight, but there was no reason he couldn't lend a little tooth and claw to an already heated argument. Maybe Larkpaw and I should do some battle training. He thought and glanced over his shoulder at Ebonyleaf. And try to hide the truth inside
I'd fail cause I, I just can't live a lie [/font][/color][/right] (Lyrics Credit to "I Just Can't Live A Lie" by Carrie Underwood) |
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Post by ( ebonyleaf ) on Jan 2, 2012 19:09:05 GMT -5
E B O N Y L E A F , She could tell he was still not prepared to tell her. His movements made that clear. Ebonyleaf resided herself to the fact that, for now at least, she would not learn this cat's secret. So instead, she fought down her persistant urges and followed his path. Her heart raced when she saw the fact that he was leading her back to the other rabbit. How foolish she would look! Carrying a ripped rabbit back into camp would surely raise questions that she could not afford to answer, she was sure of it. Still, no time to dwell on alternatives, she now had to prepare a back story to cover herself. That would prove much harder, given that another cat had been witness. Her eyes gleamed with fear, such a rare emotion for her to show. She was not sure if his smile meant worse was to come, or if the motion was genuine. His next words seemed to prove the latter, for which she was unbelievably grateful.
With those simple words he spoke, she felt her heart lift. 'Thank you,' she replied simply, though if he gazed into her eyes, he would have seen how much it really meant to her. She stayed like that for a little while, before she realized his body language had become more tense. Was he about to tell her the secret she was dying to hear? His next words dashed her hopes. He had already bent down to grip the rabbit when she mewed, ever so softly, 'but when will you be ready, Russetclaw?' Her face showed some distress, and she found her claws had entered the ground. 'Thank you, Russetclaw,' she again murmured, feeling heat begin to rise to her cheeks as she spoke. But why are you doing this? was what she did not add. She could not afford for the situation to change. After all, it was in her favor. She should just be content with that.
When he looked at her again, she could see how hard it was for him, whatever it was that was making him so conflicted. She felt genuinely sorry for him, and even this realization could not stem this feeling. 'I understand,' she mewed, not caring that her words sounded a little out of place. She had found a caring side to her, that so many moons of being a decoy had washed away. It seemed neither of them could think of anything to say to each other; conversation was simply exhausted. She walked along, slightly behind and to the right of him, not really knowing where to gaze. She chose the grass in front of her and was glad for it's simplicity. The camp came into view, and she mewed to her companion. 'Well, we're basically here, now. I - I guess I'll see you around,' she mewed softly toward the end.
NOTES; End of thread? Unless we get them to, say, go out somewhere else? xD |
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